The Thinker

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Uploaded 09/03/18
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Olympic Level Creampie

"Every choice comes with a consequence. Once you make a choice, you must accept responsibility. You cant escape the consequences of your choices, whether you like them or not, no matter how deep the rabbit hole goes." - Roy T. Bennett

Mom Fascinated By Daughter's Sextape

This is perverse. More perverse than that happy-go-lucky bastard that ejaculates while donating to the homeless. It contains elder abuse, incestuous undertones and a talking parrot that'll channel your every thought.

02/03/13 Exhibition

Accidental Anal Devirginization

Unlucky Spanish chick gets bashed in the butthole - full force, no lube! Prepare yourself. The level of agony herein is second only to Adele handcuffed to a stair-master.

Psycho Pornstar Gets Donkey Punched

A disgruntled pornstar is having a bad day, and everything that comes out of this thot's mouth is either penis related or comedy gold. She non-stop says crazy shit until her co-stars feel forced to shut her up.

07/17/15 LULZ

I'm Sorry, Did I Break Your Uterus?

Today we go on a spirited journey to a time forgotten; Behind the scenes of your average 2004 porn shoot. Special shoutout to Julian for being a role model during my college years. That man's lust for turning fallopian tubes into tier-3 tuna casserole should have earned the Martha Stewart seal of approval.

07/18/22 LULZ

Porn Star Goes Ballistic on Modern Feminists

Mercedes Carrera is hot and sucks a mean dick, but she's about to drop a big ass fuckin truth bomb on the problem with feminists, gamergate and all that shit.

02/15/15 Camwhores

Masturbating Behind Mom's Back

Looks like being a teenage cam girl is rough these days. Stuck living at home, she has to pull off stealthy ninja faps and even do her cam whoring literally right next to her unsuspecting mother.

02/01/17 Camwhores

WRONG HOLEZ: 2022

So you think Dr. Phil has covered all the bases of marital disasters? Well it's time to reevaluate bitch. These pioneers of female empowerment do it all. And by all I mean everything except give us the long awaited sequel to Karen's Krapper: Volume 27. Alexa, play Big Bottom by Spinal Tap.

10/24/22 Wrong Holes

Creme Fraiche'd

Epic poker face @ .57 mark. I call this one the 'i totally just nutted in my own mouth but i dont even give a fuck cause i have a 6.7 inch penis and listen to Rage Against The Machine on vinyl' look. Dude's got that shit mastered.

05/11/12 TeenBurg Fail

The Mother of All Omelettes

This is all but guaranteed to eradicate any story you may have been led to believe about how hard it is to interact with an established pornstar. Now the countdown begins until the protein-maxing gym bros discover this one simple trick.

10/10/24 Assylum WTF
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