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Uploaded 09/22/15
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The Tallahassee Crab Trap

Consider this the advanced users only section of the Internet. And nothing spells T-A-C-T-I-C-A-L A-D-V-A-N-T-A-G-E quite like a woman that could literally use a Volkswagen Golf as a dildo. If you're not into safe spaces being invaded... this one isn't for you.

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I think her first mistake was swiping right inside a Walmart. That kind of risk taking can only translate into one thing: "your 17 inches of combo wieners doesn't phase me, please man up and turn my kidneys into a box of Idaho spud's classic mashed potatoes". Invitation accepted.

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The Worst Tattoos in Porn 2023

For fuck sakes, these dorks could've thrown a dart at any billboard in Las Vegas and found better ideas to attach to their bodies permanently. I haven't seen people this far out of their comfort zones since the launch of Burger King's ultimate breakfast platter.

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Eight times pornography actually shocked me. Okay maybe just one time. Specifically #3. While the others have come and gone, this little gem remains unexplained.

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Gloryhole rookie "Emma" unequivocally accepts defeat after Stewart's Magnum XL ventures into deeper waters. In other words: The flex went wrong HAHA

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I haven't come across so much reason to develop erectile dysfunction on purpose since going down the lore on [this social media creature]. It truly is an unfortunate day to have eyes.

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Mercedes Carrera is hot and sucks a mean dick, but she's about to drop a big ass fuckin truth bomb on the problem with feminists, gamergate and all that shit.

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You Want To Quit... FOR REALZ

B-hole brutally wrecked at the hands of some Italians, likely won't be able to walk straight for a week. No, this isn't my review for the new Parmesan Crusted Steak @ Olive Garden. This is the infamous Rocco vs. Roxy Jezel scene, and you should watch the uncut version via the source link.

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The supply of seminally apathetic women is never-ending.

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I wasn't intending on the ambiguous crossover of Tokyo and The Kentucky Derby to make my boner list... yet here we are.

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